On tea bags, time, and running away to join the circus

I forgot to buy tea bags.

I could have bought tea bags at any number of points throughout the day. I knew when I went to bed last night that I was using the last one. But I forgot. And now, bedtime is looming without my usual cup of cranberry herbal tea.

This bugs me, just a little.

On the other hand, it bugs me a lot that the lack of my favourite bedtime beverage bugs me at all.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I talk a lot about how much I value change. So much so, that the word change looms largest in my cloud of most frequently used tags. So I admit to feeling considerable irritation at being forced to face the uncomfortable fact that I am a total creature of habit.

And now this small thing– this lack of a tea bag– has me reflecting on all the other too-comfortable habits on which I rely. My far-from-adventurous diet. My homogeneous wardrobe. My evenings spent in pretty mundane activities. My holidays spent at the same family vacation spot every summer.

Do I really love change as much as I say I do? Or am I just a great pretender?

Am I a creature of habit because I’ve reached the stage in life where I know myself and what I want, or because I’ve settled into a nice, safe rut. This question is causing me a great deal more consternation than my lack of cranberry tea.

Deep down, the changes that I crave the most are big changes. Quitting-your-job-and-running-away-to-join-the-circus changes. Dramatic changes to how I live and how I make a living. Substantial changes to the way I spend my time and the people I spend it with. But they aren’t the kind of changes that just happen. They need building, step by tedious step. Perhaps I need to run out of tea bags more often to jolt myself out of my cozy patterns into taking actual steps toward the big dreams.

Sometimes I fear that it’s too late for big changes. I worry that I’ve reached the age where I should be happy just to settle in and appreciate my comfortable habits and my nightly cup of tea. But then I see other people, older than me, courageously strike out in new directions– new businesses, new relationships, new homes in new cities. And I have to believe that there’s still time for a grand adventure.

With or without cranberry tea.

imagine

 

 

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About Muddy River Muse

Writer. Reader Educator. Manager. Mother. Dreamer. And dedicated riverbank walker.
This entry was posted in Change one thing, Daily Prompt and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to On tea bags, time, and running away to join the circus

  1. Do you have any coffee?

    ‘Cause it’s way better than tea.

    Though I suppose it’s not exactly a “before bed beverage,” is it?

    I was wondering when that was going to get around to relating to the “Pretender” topic. But it got there.

    How DO you make your living?

    ‘Cause I own a circus, and I’d welcome you aboard. The pay’s not great, but we have plenty of tea.

    🙂

  2. Pingback: Here I Come | Views Splash!

  3. Y. Prior says:

    nice topic – and I thought I liked change more than I actually do – also, have you checked out some loose leaf tea options?

  4. lenoreswan says:

    What kind of tea would you choose if you chose to change tea? Wow Anna! This teabag dilemma could precipitate a profound life change.  Hugs

    Sent from Samsung tablet

  5. Liz says:

    Really enjoyed this post MRM as it resonated with my own weird relationship with routine and change. My autistic son copes pretty well with massive change and actually enjoys it – going off and doing something strange, like joining a circus, would be fine. But small changes to routine are out of the question; if it’s cranberry tea before bed then that’s what it must be. This may sound like a contradiction but somehow we juggle cranberry tea and circuses 🙂

  6. JoAnne says:

    It is never too late to run away and join the circus!

  7. Pingback: Daily Prompt: The Great Pretender | Nola Roots, Texas Heart

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